I've referenced the book "The Secret to Successful Families" in previous entries and am trying out several of the author's suggestions with my own kids - they are my lucky guinea pigs! In one of his first chapters, the author talks about giving kids checklists for jobs/responsibilities and having them be responsible for checking the items off when they have been completed. This takes away many of the arguments/nagging that can occur. We've tried that this week in my house with chores. Prior to using the chart, I would find myself reminding my boys constantly to do their chores or forgetting completely about them until allowance time came. So far, the chart seems to be helping. This week they get reminders to check their charts and next week they are on their own. If they don't check every box for each day... no allowance for that day! I'm hoping that this helps them to be more responsible and reduces the tension that occurs with my constant reminders!
It was great to see so many families enjoying their time together at the Pumpkin Patch last weekend. I enjoyed meeting new parents and getting the chance to put names with faces! I know my boys had a great time playing the games, jumping in the bouncy house and they especially loved the whoopee cushions they won from the game room! (That was not my favorite part!)
I've referenced the book "The Secret to Successful Families" in previous entries and am trying out several of the author's suggestions with my own kids - they are my lucky guinea pigs! In one of his first chapters, the author talks about giving kids checklists for jobs/responsibilities and having them be responsible for checking the items off when they have been completed. This takes away many of the arguments/nagging that can occur. We've tried that this week in my house with chores. Prior to using the chart, I would find myself reminding my boys constantly to do their chores or forgetting completely about them until allowance time came. So far, the chart seems to be helping. This week they get reminders to check their charts and next week they are on their own. If they don't check every box for each day... no allowance for that day! I'm hoping that this helps them to be more responsible and reduces the tension that occurs with my constant reminders! Here's a quick Second Step update.... Over the next 2 weeks these will be the topics covered in each grade: Kindergarten: Using self-talk to ignore distractions/remember directions 1st/2nd grade: Learning about passive/aggressive/assertive communication and practicing using assertive communication 3rd grade: Make plans to learn (for example coming up with a plan to remember homework) 4th grade: Recognizing and appreciating similarities and differences 5th grade: Understanding cause/effect of our actions and how our actions impact others' feelings. Have a great long weekend and thanks for reading! :) Mrs. Shute
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It was great to be able to talk with so many parents last night. I shared with many of you the title of Bruce Feiler's book "The Secret to Happy Families". Based on my conversations last night, it seems like many parents are in the same boat. We all wonder (including myself) whether we are making the right decisions for our children and what we can do better. Feiler's closing sentences emphasize the most important thing we can do for our children. He says, "What's the secret to being a happy family? Try." I found that statement incredibly powerful and based on what I heard last night, our South school families are trying very hard to create happy, empathetic and hard-working children.
On another note, here's a quick Second Step update. 3rd, 4th and 5th graders learned about the importance of assertive communication this week and differentiated between assertive, aggressive and passive communication. 2nd graders learned about using self-talk to ignore classroom distractions and 1st graders are learning about using self-talk to remember information and directions. The kindergarteners missed their lesson due to conferences. One other thought- I added 2 websites on my useful links page. Check them out when you get a chance. Have a great weekend and thanks for reading! Mrs. Shute Good Morning! It's been a while since I've written anything which is a testament to how busy life can be when we get back into the routine of being in school as well as starting after school activities with our kids! I have started teaching Second Step lessons in all the classrooms and we have been focused on the ideas of respect, empathy, and positive listening behaviors. This year I will be in all classrooms throughout the entire school year on an every other week basis. Counselors in some of the other buildings have tried this schedule and have really felt it was a positive change to be a presence in each classroom all year. The Committee for Children (the organization behind Second Step) has great resources for parents that help to reinforce Second Step skills at home and I would encourage you to use the codes listed in my June 2013 blog to access that information.
In my spare time (not that I have much of that!), I've been listening to another great book that was recommended by Mrs. Jolley. The name of the book is "The Secrets of Happy Families" by Bruce Feiler. The author offers many practical and easy to implement ideas that may improve the way your family functions. After listening, I have started using one of his strategies at my house. The second chapter of the book addresses family dinner, which the author acknowledges can be hard to make happen in our busy overscheduled lives. He emphasizes that "IT'S NOT ABOUT THE DINNER; IT'S ABOUT THE FAMILY" and suggests many ways to make meals more meaningful. One of his suggestions includes something he refers to as "Bad & Good" during which everyone has to report on something bad and something good that happened to them that day. We've started that in my family and it's been interesting so far. My oldest son says everything is great (which I know can't always be true) and has a hard time picking out things that could be better. Feiler quotes research that found that games such as this help children learn to deal with the ups and downs of life and also help to develop empathy. We will continue to implement this activity at home and I hope to try others from the book as well. In future blog postings I'll share other ideas and reveal how they are working at the Shute household! In addition, our parent Liaison, Carolyn Curtis-Mahoney is hoping to share strategies with parents as well. I'd love to hear your thoughts! It has been a great year getting to know new students and watching the students I know well grow and flourish. All the students have learned the key Second Step skills of: showing empathy, calming down, and effective problem solving. We have discussed how these skills can be applied at home. I would encourage you to remind your child/children to use their Second Step skills at home when they are dealing with strong emotions or problem situations.
Second Step includes information for parents and I have included the specific codes for each grade below. Take the time to visit the website (www.secondstep.org) and get to know more about what your child/children are learning about. Kindergarten: SSPK Y6A1 0X8B Grade 1: SSP1 LB63 51UU Grade 2: SSP2 5G6B B13P Grade 3: SSP3 P4W0 TM17 Grade 4: SSP4 8IJ3 6OY7 Grade 5: SSP5 JX40 SY77 I hope everyone has a wonderful summer and comes back in September refreshed and relaxed. I wish all of our students moving on to OMS much success! Mrs. Shute I received a flyer this week from the Stoughton Youth Commisson regarding Operation Horizon - a program that offers a variety of activities and trips for the youth of Stoughton. Activities include things such as a tour of Fenway, a trip to the zoo and other fun trips. Past students have shared that they have enjoyed participating in these trips.
If you are interested in more information, please contact me or you can visit the Youth Commission website (www.stoughtonyouthcommission.org) to download the forms. Have a great weekend! Mrs. Shute Our students in grades 3-5 have been working hard preparing for and taking the MCAS tests during the last 2 months. Some students take this in stride and don't feel any additional stress, however, some students find this time to be very stressful and anxiety provoking. While it's important that we prepare our students to the best of our ability, it's also important that we remember that they are kids and that they need time to do things that they enjoy. During times of increased stress it's especially important to take the time for fun family activities. Now that the weather has changed, my husband and I have been taking our children on family hikes. While they may initially resist leaving the company of their friends, once we are exploring outside they love our hikes and it gives them an opportunity to share any of their concerns or things they are excited about. I would encourage everyone to work to find something that you and your children can do together as a family that is FUN! Making the time for fun helps to reduce everyone's stress and also helps to build family cohesiveness! Have I recently finished listening to Paul Tough's book, "How Children Succeed". Thank you Mrs. Jolley for the recommendation! The book explores a variety of issues that impact a child's ability to succeed in all aspects of life and proposes some possible obstacles to them achieving success. One of the points that Tough makes that I found especially true of children of today is that many of our children don't know how to manage failure. This is an exerpt from the book in which Tough is speaking about parenting his young child: "I know that it is just the beginning of the long struggle we will face, as all parents do, between our urge to provide everything for our child, to protect him from all harm, and our knowledge that if we really want him to succeed, we need to first let him fail. Or more precisely, we need to help him learn to manage failure." I found this to be a very valid observation and believe that parents and educators need to help children how to deal with failure. We all know that a big part of navigating life is dealing with disappointment, failure and frustration. It is vital that we help children to learn these skills while they are surrounded by adults who can support them and teach them healthy coping strategies. I would strongly recommend this book to all parents. It took me less than 2 weeks to listen to it on my way to and from work
Mrs. Shute Kindergarten students in both classrooms have been learning about how to calm down when they have strong emotions. Today they practiced belly breathing. They watched a great video on youtube in which Elmo showed them how to belly breath. Take a minute to check out the video and try it with your child. It's a great strategy for kids and parents to use! I know I use belly breathing in my role as a Mom and Counselor often! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mZbzDOpylA Enjoy! Mrs. Shute This week I have been continuing to work with students to help them to learn, practice and internalize relaxation skills. One technique that can work is called progressive muscle relaxation. I have been able to find a number of youtube videos that teach this skill at an age appropriate level. This technique can be especially helpful for students who struggle with falling asleep or staying asleep at night. I have included the link to one of the youtube videos that I like using. My students have responded well to this one and enjoy the animal references.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaTDNYjk-Gw Repetition and practice is important when learning new techniques and will make it easier for children to be able to utilize these resources during times of stress or frustration. I hope you like it! Mrs. Shute The recent events in Connecticut have caused all of us to feel a multitude of emotions. As a parent of 2 boys, I found telling my 3rd grader about the events at Sandy Hook Elementary to be one of the most challenging and troubling things that I have had to do. It broke my heart that I had to in some manner take away his innocence by sharing this event with him. However, I felt that it was best that he hear it from me in a contained manner rather than hearing rumors or false information from his classmates or from other sources. When talking about information such as this with your child, it is important to gauge your child's personality and coping style when you decide what you are going to share. It is best to stick with the basic facts, without providing unnecessary information. It is also important to answer any questions that he or she might have in as honest a manner as possible. For example, after talking about the tragedy with my son, he asked me what happened to the shooter, and I told him that he had died. He then followed up with "How" and I told him that he killed himself. It was a difficult thing for me to share these details with him, but it was important that he have his questions answered. I also made sure that he did not have access to the News as that can be too overwhelming for most elementary students to cope with. Those images are difficult for adults to process and our coping skills are much more developed than those of our children.
I spent Monday morning of this week collaborating with classroom teachers about how to deal with this topic with their particular classrooms. I also participated in some Morning Meetings during which conversations about the topic took place. Students were reassured that we have safety plans in place and were given an opportunity to ask questions and express concerns. If you would like to learn more about how to handle this type of situation with your child, please feel free to contact me and/or follow the links below to articles on the topic. http://www.aacap.org/cs/DisasterTrauma.ResourceCenter http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/posttraumatic_stress_disorder_ptsd http://www.nasponline.org/resources/crisis_safety/terror_general.aspx http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/news/talking.html |
AuthorAs I wrote on my home page, I have been a Counselor at the South School for over 10 years. I am constantly trying to improve my skills as a Counselor and to learn new strategies that I can pass along to my students. Archives
May 2015
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